To be in love and getting right attention, is one of the deepest emotions known to human beings. Though, we human beings are in many kinds of love from parents and siblings to friends and even pets. But generally, love is referred to the expression of a romantic relationship with a well-matched partner.
I’m studying abroad right now. I have a bit of a ‘boyfriend thing’ going on back home. Like many, this romantic relationship comprised the most beautiful aspect of my life. I knew that he may not be my destiny but still I started being infatuated by him.
He’s a nice guy. We met at a party and twenty minutes later he held my hair while I vomited. Even though I wasn’t very attracted to him, he intrigued me. He took care of me and always extended love and compassion towards me. He fulfilled my needs of care, warmth, protection, stimulation and social contact. I started to develop a deep connection with him.
Lust and Sex
I’d never met a boy who didn’t just care about sex. Like other boys I never found him trying to come close to me without any purpose. He didn’t had that greed or lust in his eyes. He was always concerned about my feelings rather than my looks and appearance. He was the boy every girl could dream of. I had only dated football players and gross teenage boys before. But he was undoubtedly different. He genuinely cares about other people. He’d bring me all kinds of presents.
Though, he wasn’t of the kind who enjoys showing off their father’s wealth in front of girls. He never made it about money or worldly things. He was really genuine in his feelings.
One time I had a bad week at school and he brought me a gift package with all my favorite things. Finding him was definitely my biggest wish come true. He was a wonderful boyfriend. He was made of all the qualities any parents wishes to have in their daughter’s boyfriend. He always showered me with his undivided attention. And, it was beyond pleasant to have that much attention of a guy. Our relationship was strong mostly because of him. His willingness to devote his time and affection made our relationship powerful and unbreakable.
Nothing he did affect me and everything I did affected him
You must be wondering about my role in this scenario. Well, I did just enough of the girlfriend thing to keep him around. It is said that for a healthy relationship both individuals should feel convinced that their partner is willing to give over time and concentration to the other. And that they are dedicated to accepting the differences and challenges that inexorably come into sight. I’d been in a few relationships before too. But before now, I’d always been in the opposite position.
Our relationship went smoothly for months but then we broke up. He still is my best friend. Even after we broke up, I still hung out with him and let him give me gifts. He even gave me this journal for my trip.
Life is different from movies
I think that I have now stopped trying to find a soul mate or even a boyfriend. I believe that the movies we see and the romantic novels we read are the main reason behind making us believe that it’s all too easy, it makes us to agree that no one can survive without a romantic companion. Well, I am trying to break this myth.
I have also started convincing people that the term boyfriend and lover is dangerous. It can imply perfectionism and perfection in any relationship on earth is unattainable. He also used to say that if I will believe that you will be mine forever then it will never me easy for me to let you go.
He is still by my side; giving me presents and at times a lot of attention too. I have not been able to name our current relationship. He is a very important part of my life and so am i. We both are each other’s best friends and in words of others we may be called more than friends. But we don’t believe that we are girlfriend or boyfriend anymore too.
I don’t know whether at any point of my life I will be able to be in another relationship with someone else or not. But I do know that I will always and forever want him to be in my life. I don’t care that it’s as a friend or as a boyfriend or as just a companion. He is always needed.